Wednesday, December 28, 2011

When December ends

Being not busy has ended in me being busier doing nothing than I could have ever imagined possible.
Long live winter break!

where is my cell phone case?
where is my drivers license?
where is my paycheck?

Is all lost?
(in a less dramatic tone than you think.)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


I love my phone, my God, do I love my phone.
Done with Anthro
Done with Bio
Done with Socio
Done with Photography
Done with Health
Just have 3 essays between me and 5 weeks of vacation.

need to wash my smelly animals
zen tea
18 units didn't feel like 18 units until finals started

Ready, set, philosophize!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Missing You

I got an iPhone
I feel a little sick
I want to be done with school
I want Christmas and all it's glitter to be gone
I want winter and rain and night
I want good, intimate worship.

I miss You

I'd do anything to cry;
let this pain fall from my eyes,
and let time heal my insides.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


It was beautiful,
I couldn't not grab my camera and capture some things I was marveling over as I typed up my homework in my backyard.
It's freezing, and I look ridiculous with my gloves and 890,939,304 blankets, but I wanted to be outside. There is something magical about being outdoors, even in Suburbia.
I want to go to San Francisco, then to the woods.

Please, dear Fall, wait for me.

I crave trees.


I think my current Decemberists kick is perfect,
when else but December is it proper to love them?
Other than every other month...

it never seemed so strange.

Sociology journals are killing me.
Due monday; 50 pages so far, 16 readings to go, 17 down.
I don't think I'll finish.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Finish Line

Classes ending.

Last day of Sociology 10
Last Bio 1 lecture
Last Bio lab exam
Work at 6
Complete 3 readings
Pick up NSN T shirts

No classes
Finish NSN slideshow
Complete 3 readings

Cultural Anthropology final; exam online
No classes
Movie Night
John Deere Christmas Party
Complete 3 readings

3 readings

3 readings

Sociology final; turn in Journal
Philosophy essay rewrite

Photo final; present porfolio
Philosophy essay rewrite

Bio 1 final?
Philosophy essay 3

Philosophy final; turn in essays


your hair is long
but not long enough
to reach, to reach
but you fear that one day
it might be, it might be.

Song of the day:
Blood by The Middle East

Monday, December 5, 2011


I like to paint with light.
I am the apparition.

Anoesis (n.)
a state of mind consisting of pure sensation or emotion without cognitive content.

photo matting process almost complete
sociology readings are killing me
crisp night skies
new friendships

Sunday, December 4, 2011

I met up with the King

I feel just like the King,
as I fall on the muddy ground.
I feel just like you, guy,
there's people thinkin' they know something now.
Well I don't know anything at all,
and we mean nothing, history.
Well thank God.
Well thank God.
So tell me,
Do you believe me?
Do you believe me?
I bet you don't.
I bet you won't.

sister 1b and 3b

I am evolving;
this is a new season.

I really need to send my penpal letters out
(if anyone of you read this, I have them and haven't forgotten about you!)
I think I'm going to get rid of my cell phone.
finger knitting

Photography projects;
"a year in sunsets 2012"

Song of the day;
Helen by Horse Feathers
my iPod player keeps turning itself off... not good...

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Winter Winds

I love December.
I love this wind.
I love this chill.
I love these skies.
I love this clarity.
So I guess I love this ignorance.

Thursday, December 1, 2011



I love the wind
I'm sick of greed and corruption
Oh, I think it's silly there are starving kids and dying kids but the "stars" will spend millions on the Grammy's...


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Blue Moon

christmas pine cones


Take my head, it's just thinking of you
Take my heart, it's just beating for you
Take my hands, they are shaking for you
Take my feet, they're just walking to you
Let your breath stream right through me
Breathe through everything inside of me

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

up to something

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain

larger than life

Saturday, November 26, 2011


The less that you have of it,
the more people want of it.

homework, so much homework
I am an adult, buried by homework

hey mister, hey mister,
I kissed your kid's sister
Whatchya gonna do?
Whatchya gonna do?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

twinkle, twinkle

Sikh festival, classes, and work.
Life is crazy right now,
mostly shooting film.
Digital class next semester maybe...
I miss you, too, D3000.

log cabins,
filling out my fafsa,
far away lands

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

No Shave November

1. This little police officer was on it. The jump house kept deflating.
2. Beckham loves Josh...
3. Halloween, the ASYC judged offices. This one had a blacklight.

I know this is an ugly post. But this is my life as of late.
For my little college, I am fronting a full-blown No Shave November campaign.
I had fun today harassing the men, but mostly I ate a lot of candy.
I've been taking lots of digital, thanks to Cooper's Fall Festival and recent ASYC events.

star gazing
Holga photography

Sunday, October 30, 2011


I have to be up at 8am tomorrow.
I'm going to my Sociology class for the first time in a month, I hope I'm not dropped.
In some parallel universe, I am wreching in loss.
Thank God Friday ended differently.
Tomorrow; judging offices.
I made my own mask.
Tuesday; No Shave November starts.

I am Vice President.
Nerd, I know.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hug your mom

Yesterday there was a bomb threat at my mom's work.
Things got so heated she actually texted me 'goodbye'.
Needless to say, I started crying and praying fervently.
She came home safe, thank God!
But it was a scary reminder of mortality.
Really, we are all hanging on to life with such a slim thread.
Ugh, I can't imagine life without her.
I think what really terrified me is that God had been like, you should visit her, on my way home from school. I was like nahh I'll see her at home later. Then the whole 'Oh My God what if that was my last chance to see her' panic hit me. God, I am so glad she is here. I love her.
We're going for a bike ride. I love my mom.
You should hug yours.

Thoughts for the day;
Anouk has grown into a Lady Cat
No Shave November
write my lovely penpals back, soon
fall festivals
birds chirping
my camera ate 5 important pictures
new cell phone sometime

Yesterday I also found an exploded apple cider bottle in my freezer. (Frend forgot it. I cut myself a few times on tiny shards of glass. I found it that morning but had to get to my bio lecture. The part I cleaned was the majority, but my nana flew into a rage once she felt sticky, and wouldn't stop cleaning until she knew the sticky monster was defeated).
Then I spilled ALL of my favorite tea (Tazo Zen, which I am almost out of) on my already dying cell phone. Turns out Volvo cup holders aren't meant for coffee mugs. Do Europeans just sip their tea out of teacups in the morning? I'm going to have to go to Goodwill and find some fun, fitting teacups. At least my phone was warm when I went to text everyone it would be shorting out soon.
Reality, it did not short out. It has survived being smashed by my butt and a rock at Fort Bragg, being dropped numerous times, an entire hot cup of tea poured on it, my bottomless pit of a purse, babysitting (code for being gnawed on by bratty toddlers), and being lost in a truckbed.
Most impressive, my little Blitz.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Nueva Musica

Aside from my family all teaming up to be ridiculously obnoxious at the same time, my day has been pleasant.

Today I;
spanked my Bio exam
found, not one, but three pennies from my penny fairy
got a sweet pick-me-up from Chels
^ seriously, amazing music blog ^

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Today reminds me of this song, from freshman year of high school I think...

When did I become so numb?
I want to move.
I want to live by the ocean.
I want to be cold and washed by the moon.

I got a letter from my penpal in PA.
His CD enchanted my Tuesday night.
The mundane trip to Walmart for cat litter and conditioner was made magical.
I thought about the fact that there are lives separate from mine going on.
I know, that is obvious, but how amazing that Life is that big?


I love my boys.

Phillip LaRue
night walks
letters and pen pals

The sky is bruised, black and blue,
because I beat the stars for you.
You said they shined too bright;
made it hard for you to sleep at night.

Friday, October 21, 2011

November article submission.


From all sides, secular life is abrasive. Sometimes it feels as though your morality is being scrubbed down with one of those horrible wire brushes. Sometimes it feels more like you’re being pounded by a jack-hammer. People you love and respect pulling on you to make poor decisions, your favorite show taking a turn to the risqué, the beat to that new song is cool except for the raunchy lyrics but everyone is listening to it; sometimes it’s hard to be a sheep in a world of wolves.

Sometimes it’s OK to take time and cry out to God. This is nothing new. Thousands of years ago, when God’s chosen people were trying to make it to their promised land, they were a little nervous about how they were going to get there. And from a secular mindset, they had good reason. They were going to have to cross through borders of enemies and face big, mean, scary peoples who did all the things they weren’t supposed to do. God’s people were going to look stupid. They were going to be outsiders. They were going to smell different, eat different, look different. They worshipped a god who wasn’t on the Top 10. But God told them, ‘don’t be afraid of them, I’m bigger, stronger, faster. I’m fighting for you. Don’t give them a second thought. I’ll get you through this.’ (Deuteronomy 3:22).

Do you ever have moments where it feels impossible? I know that I feel discouraged when we have open discussions about faith in my philosophy class. The same information I hear and marvel at God’s big-ness, they suck Him right out of it. It is as if they can’t see the golden thread of Divinity that is woven through everything known and yet to be discovered. God let me kick this around for a few days before whispering Romans 8:7 to me. With that verse, I felt just a little piece of His heart. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God, not only does it not submit to Him, it just can’t. This realization is saddening. Once again we are reminded that there is a serious need for us to shine as bright and pure as we can through Christ. How can we do that if we’re blending in with the wolf pack? We need to be sheep-ish, in a biblical way. As the holidays approach, try your best to stay true to Grace. Check your materialism. How is your heart? Remember we are set apart, so we’re going to be different. How different are you?

I love my Volvo

My mom, looking with us (Granddad and I) under my wagon.
Granddad, pointing to the ominous dripping from my transmission.
She's a lady, though.

I love my Volvo.
No, actually.
I love her.
Today I cleaned her, and also was shown her "leaks".
She reminds me of the "unclean" ladies in the bible with their, uhm, issues.
I love her, regardless.
I painted her license plate frames.
"John 3:8", my favorite verse,
with a dandelion blown by the wind.

Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight; why are people telling me to bring toast?
Article deadline today...
Got a haircut!
Need a job.

I am a rose.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


"If I can keep my claws and teeth,
I'll be able to see the other side," said the princess.
"Remember, proud lioness," said the mouse,
"you are but a pussycat."

Anouk; kitten nugget
TGIF; thank God for frend
formal lab write ups
The Ambassador looming deadline
movie night

I want some rain, please.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

the weekend of Flats.

You'd think I wore more jewlery than just my daily-worn locket.

She doesn't smile. But I love her.

I rode my bike to the Buttes Saturday, because I am anti-social and have nothing better to do.
That little voice in my head said, 'hey, you should go home... what if you got a flat out here?'
So naturally I did the mature thing, since I am an adult and a lady;
I shrugged it off and kept going.
WAAAAAAY out in the middle of nowhere, my rear tire dramatically gives up on life.
Only then do I think back to the nudge of a warning I was given.
Now what?
I go through the list of possible saviors.
My mom was working.
My grandparents were out of town.
My friends weren't picking up their phones or were out of town or didn't know how to find me.
Boy was working.
Sister didn't have the key to my car.
Sister's friends all are busy.
Luckily the Boy had a friend rescue me, and by 'friend' I mean hillbilly bumpkin driving a ridiculous truck.
sigh, thank you hillbilly bumpkin, thank you and your ridiculous truck.

I made them cookies, and set the smoke alarm off. I don't think they burned too bad though...

film pictures all weekend.
new camera though.

Poor bike.
I've been cursing a lot less like the pirate I was last month.
Relient K resurgence!
I'm hungry.
I love my new camera, can't wait to show it to my photo professor (a vintage slr; a Ricoh KR-5).
church was good, I love Pastor David.

Breathing in, breathing out;
I'm alive again.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

call me Midas.

I love this cat.

I don't know where my golden creatures went after my birthday.
I don't know why it took almost two weeks to question their absence.
I think my mother has something to do with it...

class tomorrow
I love that I got to name my Bio mouse 'Ramses'
I think I will wear a dress tomorrow...
I should have bought that blouse at Thrifty's on Sunday. Merg.
My boyfriend is a mechanic,