Lately I have been thinking about death. Not in a morbid or depressing way, but in an enlightening and behavior altering way. There is one fact; we all are going to die. Everyone and everything I have ever loved is going die and come to an end. My family, my friends, my pets, my relationships, my electronics, my college education; nothing lasts forever.
The fact that we know this, but don't think about it shows how much of a naturally optimistic species we are. But by acknowledging the fact that it will all come to an end, I think it releases us from the fear of loosing.
I've been looking deep into myself lately, and I'm realizing I don't allow myself to go too deep because I'm afraid of when it will end. It doesn't matter. It always ends. No matter what. If I allow myself to enjoy it 100% or only half-heartedly. I'm not protecting myself from anything. Just numbing myself unnecessarily.
I guess what I am saying is that now I catch myself.
I catch myself stressing out about Tuesday getting sick.
I catch myself stressing out about paying for college.
I catch myself stressing out about relationships.
Then I remind myself that the end is imminent.
Of course, add my faith to the equation and it makes more sense.
But more on that at a different time.
I have a gem show to get ready for...
"To Do" lists
my savings account my father is keeping for his new kids