Reflections

Lately I have been thinking about death. Not in a morbid or depressing way, but in an enlightening and behavior altering way. There is one fact; we all are going to die. Everyone and everything I have ever loved is going die and come to an end. My family, my friends, my pets, my relationships, my electronics, my college education; nothing lasts forever. 

The fact that we know this, but don't think about it shows how much of a naturally optimistic species we are. But by acknowledging the fact that it will all come to an end, I think it releases us from the fear of loosing.

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I've been looking deep into myself lately, and I'm realizing I don't allow myself to go too deep because I'm afraid of when it will end. It doesn't matter. It always ends. No matter what. If I allow myself to enjoy it 100% or only half-heartedly. I'm not protecting myself from anything. Just numbing myself unnecessarily.

I guess what I am saying is that now I catch myself.

I catch myself stressing out about Tuesday getting sick.

I catch myself stressing out about paying for college.

I catch myself stressing out about relationships.

Then I remind myself that the end is imminent.

Of course, add my faith to the equation and it makes more sense.

But more on that at a different time.

I have a gem show to get ready for...

Thoughts;

worship

Tuesday

"To Do" lists

cold toes

socks

fire

lies

life

my savings account my father is keeping for his new kids

anger

mercy

grace

unchanging love

forgiveness.